How do you handle push notifications without annoying your users?

There is a super fine line between a helpful reminder and mental noise. Early on we configured notifications for every tiny event inside the dashboard assuming it built a daily usage habit. Turns out people just turned off app permissions or deleted their accounts to clean up their phones and inboxes.

Now we're trying to figure out smart defaults like only pinging users when an action is strictly required from them.

What rules do you follow to make sure your alerts bring value instead of fatigue?