The founder shadow: what goes dark in life when things go bright at startup

I have a feeling this one *might hit different* for some of you.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I call the founder shadow.

I’m sure there’s smarter writing out there on the topic, but this is how I see it: as things start to shine brighter at your startup, other parts of your life fall into its shadow.

I’ve been chasing highs and wins, the kind that feel addictive in the moment, but it comes at a cost. The theft of time, life, and loved ones.

We had a win recently, and I realized the person I was most excited to tell… was also the one who paid the price while I was chasing it. Plus she has other things to get excited about, even if I think 'time trading AI' is the next Steve Jobs moment...

It made me think a lot, about what I need to do differently, which still respects the hustle, but means I hustle hard in both dimensions of my being (work + personal).

Here's what I'm trying to put in place:

• Make the small hours count. Even if you work long ones, switch off properly when you’re home.

• Protect one “loved one night” a week. No excuses - many of the best founders do this.

• Take at least one day off. My best ideas come when I’m away from the desk, not staring at my laptop.

• Don’t compromise your health. Run, walk, move - I’ve even set up voice dictation so I can capture ideas mid-run.

• If life gets in the way of work, pause. It’s a bad path if you don’t. That means rushing home from a night out to send the brilliant idea you had to the team, not usually worth it.

• Keep conversations balanced. When work isn’t your only topic, the highs feel higher.

• Practice mental presence. A recent wedding with no signal reminded me how good it feels to just be human again.

If you have any other suggestions, hit me up! Pushing on an open door...

I wrote a little more on the topic here too: https://chiefting.substack.com/p/the-founder-shadow 

Hope helpful,

Dan