If I'm sexually attracted to a friend of mine, is it okay to communicate that? If so, what's the best way to do so? I'm worried it could change their view of our platonic friendship even though I value that far more than anything else.
@davefontenot Dave - funnily enough, that's precisely why my friend Colin Hodge started Down (the app Formerly Known As Bang With Friends) - so that the potential awkwardness of 'do they like me the way I like them' could be overcome by discreet signalling. I totally hear you on the sensitivity of the situation. I would say that one potential tactic might be to direct said friend to this AMA and have them read your question :) This is a difficult one to answer in the abstract - if someone has a reciprocal interest in you, you can generally sense or see some signalling that would indicate that. If you're not getting any signals of that nature at all, then unfortunately that interest is likely not there on their part. My recommendation in both cases would be not to push it - if the former is the case, your continuing friendship should provide an opportunity in due course to be in the right context/environment for both of you to mutually open up to each other (and if mutual interest is there, the stronger and longer the friendship, the better for the romantic possibilities). If the latter, then it's best to just stay friends and preserve the friendship you value. I hope that helps.
@kunalslab Well, I guess what the viewer feedback for my TED talk really showed me was that porn as default sex ed in the absence of open healthy conversation around #realworldsex, is a universal issue, everywhere in the world (I began realizing this in a personal context seven or eight years ago, before the media ever picked up on any of this, and so when I put up MakeLoveNotPorn.com it was in the spirit of 'Gosh, if I'm experiencing this other people must be as well, I want to do something about this' - I had no research/data/statistics to draw on that told me this was the huge global issue it's subsequently proven to be).
We're a social experiment - we're putting MLNP out there with no idea what's going to come back, so we're learning all the time - and so what I can tell you has been a revelation, is that our MakeLoveNotPornstars report that social sex is transformative. Most of our MakeLoveNotPornstars had never filmed their own #realworldsex before - they're doing it for us because they believe in our social mission. They tell us they find the experience transformative for themselves and their relationships. When you make a solo video, it enhances your sexual self-esteem and increases your sexual sense of self. Couples tell us it drives amazing communication – when you decide to video yourselves having sex, you have to talk about it, and when you do, the conversation can go places it may never have gone before.
We invite them to guest post on our blog about this, and it's fascinating - not something we ever realized ourselves when we launched mlnp.tv:
http://talkabout.makelovenotporn...
Report
Hi Cindy! Do you think virtual reality porn has the potential to positively impact learning and openness about our sexuality, or do you think it will create another source of sexual experiences that do not foster an authentic connection between two people?
Hey Cindy! You're touching a very important topic! How do you think porn influences our sexual fantasies - in a good or a bad way? Do they harm sexual relationships by creating a huge gap between what's expected and what is real? And can porn movies be used for a sex education?
My pleasure to welcome my friend Cindy Gallop for a Product Hunt AMA at 2 PM PST today - ask questions in advance...:)
Bio: Cindy is the founder and CEO of IfWeRanTheWorld and MakeLoveNotPorn. Describes her approach as 'I like to blow shit up. I am the Michael Bay of business.'
Loved podcasting with her: https://soundcloud.com/product-h...
@eriktorenberg Erik - I am absolutely loving this AMA, so grateful to you guys for proving the opportunity, and so thrilled to be getting such terrific questions! I've got a very aggravating issue - I'm dying to keep answering, but the questions are such that I need to answer in some detail, and I regrettably have to head to an immovable commitment (roasting my friend Brad Jakeman of Pepsico who is the AdClub of New York's Advertising Person Of The Year). Can I please continue answering later tonight/tomorrow - would that be OK? I hate to leave questions unanswered and am very keen to have the opportunity to keep doing so!
Another question: one reason that sex trafficking is a problem in America is that some people want to buy sex, but not as many people want to sell sex. What do you perceive as the relationship between the sex purchasing (demand for prostitution) and the porn industry? How would you recommend taking steps to reduce the demand for paid sex in this country?
What steps can we take to reduce the stigma associated with talking about sex openly? how can we ensure that teenagers are comfortable talking about their bodies and sex?
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