Report Card is the official grade slip of Doomscroll District School, Fall 2026 semester. Accredited by nobody. (We checked.)
Enrollment takes one social media handle to grade card. No login, no password, nothing to install. Private accounts are politely turned away at the gate.
The teacher reads your recent public posts and grades six subjects. Grades run from A+ (with a gold star sticker) to F (Parents meeting).
