Tennesse Tim's Weather Report (beta) - The ONLY Weather and Unsolicited Dating Advice App
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The ONLY app that combines wild weather forecasts with even worse dating advice. Tennessee Tim delivers daily forecasts, gut feelings, and emotional turbulence—all in one beard-powered, pink-hatted package. Warning: 80% chance of unsolicited opinions.
Replies
I invested $2M in this app without reading the deck. Beard was enough.”
— @StartupBroDan
Forecast said: ‘Sunny, but your pitch deck is garbage.’ We raised Series B anyway.”
— Fake VC from SprinkleCapital
“App told me to stop disrupting umbrellas. We pivoted to ponchos.”
— Co-Founder, Rainr (with no vowels)
“App said: ‘Don’t pitch today. Mercury AND investors are in retrograde.’”
— @PitchSlapped
“It auto-installed itself on our team’s devices. We’re okay with that.”
— Head of AI Weather Harmony at Meta
“Tim helped me scale my startup and emotionally disconnect from Brad.”
— @TechTherapyLiz
“We’re rebranding as TennesseeTim.io. VCs are circling.”
— Anonymous Founder of a Broken Umbrella App
“Forecast: ‘Windy. Like your elevator pitch.’”
— From the desk of TechCrunch’s Angry Intern
“App told us to ‘slow down and build actual features.’ We ignored it. Regret.”
— @MinimumViableDisaster
“We tried to acquire the app. Tim sent a GIF of clouds giving us the finger.”
— Google Acquisitions Team