81% of founders never tell anyone what's actually stressing them out
A founder coach who surveyed hundreds of builders said something that stuck with me: every single person she interviewed used the word "lonely."
That really stopped me.
Because it's not just one type of founder or one stage. It's across the board. And when you look at the data it makes sense. 81% of founders are not open with the people in their lives about what is actually stressing them out. 90% aren't honest with their investors. Co-founders are too close. Employees depend on you. Friends care but don't quite get it.
So the stress just... stays inside. And loneliness compounds on itself.
I've been thinking a lot lately about why "building in public" hasn't really solved this even though it sounds like it should. There's a version of it that helps, where you genuinely share the mess and people show up. But there's another version that's still performance. You're narrating the journey but not actually letting anyone in.
The founders I've seen manage this best don't have huge audiences or fancy networks. They have one or two people they can actually be honest with. Peers, not mentors. People in it too, with nothing to gain from your polished story.
I'm building in the loneliness and social connection space so I think about this constantly. But I'm also genuinely asking: how did you find that person, or those people? Did it happen naturally or did you have to deliberately create it?
Or are you mostly still carrying it alone?
Replies
Very true — the biggest relief for me came from a small circle of builders who are going through the same things. Just a few honest conversations can reduce a lot of that founder pressure.
This is quite an eye-opener and first off kudos on building in this apce, it's very underrepresented.
I've always surrounded myself with people that support and understand each other no matter what, especially women supporting women means much to me. And the group that surrounds me sees and understand my hustle and give me unprecedent support on it.
Yes, I admit, not everyone understands everything sometimes, and I figure that is okay. It can get lonely sometimes but we need to surround ourselves with people who get why you're doing what you're doing.
minimalist phone: creating folders
This is mainly the sort of the product for solo-founders. So the target audience is very specific – when someone is a solo founder, probably he/she doesn't have so much capital at the beginning. The question is how you want to monetise something like that? [I am not now sure whether you want to create a paid community or app or?]
I think the loneliness comes from something deeper than just working alone.
When you’re building something, you're constantly living in a future that doesn't exist yet.
You see the product, the impact, the vision, but most people around you only see the current version.
So a lot of your excitement and stress lives in your head.
I’ve been feeling this while building WisGrowth as well. Some days you're excited about what you're creating, and other days you're questioning every assumption.
What helped me is realizing that progress usually looks much slower from the inside than it actually is.